yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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