tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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