Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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