I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
