the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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