I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
