I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
