Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
