No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
