Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we're so committed to being not committed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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