I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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