I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
