Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
