Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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