i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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