Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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