Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
