I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
