could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
