wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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