this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
