I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
