SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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