Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
