So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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