So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
