How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Small penises have feelings too.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
