...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
