i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
