you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
