dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
