I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
