there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
