I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
