i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
