nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
