Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We're too hungover to prance.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
