physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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