Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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