he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
