You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dont even know how to be here
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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