a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
