k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
