all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
