1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
