Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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