He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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