Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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