oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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