Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
